Watermelon Baby, Part I

Watermelon Baby, Part I

One Response to “Watermelon Baby, Part I”

  1. Christopher says:

    Transcript for: “Watermelon Baby, Part I”

    1) Coach Fathead: [off] Poet! Please come to my office immediately!
    2) Poet: Is there something wrong, coach?
    CF: You’ve gotten a girl pregnant.
    3) P: Huh?
    CF: In accordance with a new countywide program aimed at combating teenage pregnancy, you are one of twenty students at this institution chosen at random to take care of a baby for a week.
    4) CF: You will be required to feed it, bathe it, diaper it, and keep it safe. This is your schedule for the next seven days.
    5) P: You’re going to give me somebody’s baby?
    CF: This is your new baby.
    6) P: That’s a watermelon.
    CF: It’s a living, breathing baby, and you’d better take good care of it!
    7) P: What am I supposed to do for the rest of the period?
    CF: Go to the clinic. Your baby is sick.
    8.) P: Stupid watermelon. I hope it has AIDS.
    Nurse: This baby has whiplash and gonorrhea! What on Earth have you been doing?

    None at this time.